A Drink They Call Loneliness
by Brunette
Summary: They weren't even related. His name was O'Connell. Hers was O'Connor. Though sometimes she'd tell people it was O'Connell. And Beni would roll his eyes.
1. 9:00 on a Saturday

_Author's Note: Because my writer's block sucks, and the only thing I really want to write is this borderline one-shot (maybe more? I think so...)._

_Disclaimer: The characters of _The Mummy_ are the property of Universal Studios__. The title of the story is taken from Billy Joel's "Piano Man." Siobhan (pronounced SHAH-von, it's Irish/Gaelic) O'Connor is my own invention._

* * *

**A Drink They Call Loneliness**

They weren't even related.

He was so tired of hearing about O'Connell's "sister" when they _weren't even related_. O'Connell's name was O'Connell, hers was O'Connor. And they'd called themselves siblings because in a dirty Cairo orphanage, that was the closest they could hope to get to being family. Beni thought it was pathetic. How stupid, wasting their time pretending to be "siblings" when they weren't. When any idiot could see that they weren't. His name was O'Connell. Hers was O'Connor. Though sometimes she'd tell people it was O'Connell. And Beni would roll his eyes.

She probably wasn't even American. Not that Americans were anything to begin with. But her name was Siobhan and her hair was inky black. She looked half-Arab, or half-black, or half-something. And she probably was. Maybe she was just Black Irish, but probably not. Beni really didn't care what she was. He was only irritated that she _said_ she was an O'Connell. Who would want to be an O'Connell, anyway?

She was young, but she was old. Too old to pretend like she had a person in the world _when she didn't_. She and O'Connell were alone. They were two lonely strangers playing a kid's game. "I'll be your brother, you can be my sister, and I'll never let the world come crashing down on you." But the world was going to come down on her. It was going to come down on her, and him, and on everybody, just the way it had on Beni. Because when it came down to it, everyone was just fending for themselves. Goddamn alone.

He saw her across the bar, slipping up to order herself a drink. She looked too young to drink, but the bartender knew (or thought he knew) that her "brother" was Rick O'Connell. And he didn't want any trouble. No one ever did, not with O'Connell. Not with anybody named O'Connell.

Her name _wasn't_ O'Connell. God, why was everyone so stupid?_ They weren't even related._

She noticed him, sitting at that table by himself, and frowned. She didn't like him, but no one did. Beni figured no one really liked anyone, when it came down to it. He didn't like Siobhan, either. He thought she was childish and looked like an idiot, calling herself O'Connell and tagging along behind that big American as if he had to put up with her. As if there was blood between them, and he had no choice. But she wasn't with O'Connell right now. She stared at him for an uncertain moment with her big, half-breed eyes - a color caught somewhere between brown and hazel, more proof that she wasn't O'Connell's sister. Her kinky black hair fell around her face in long zig-zags. She pushed a lock out of her eyes and kept staring at him, biting her lip.

Beni grumbled a sigh and turned his attention back to his drink. He wasn't going to invite her over. But somehow he knew she'd come, anyway. Because everyone hates feeling alone, especially people who lie about their names. _Especially_ those kind. She sat down without asking if he minded.

"Where is O'Connell?" Beni asked, not bothering to hide his irritation at her presence.

She swallowed nervously before lifting her glass to her lips and taking a sip.

"I don't know."

She took another sip, eyeing him cautiously. "We haven't seen you in a while."

Beni snorted. "Oh, you mean since your 'brother' threw me out?"

"Why do you have to say it like that?"

"Say what?"

"Brother. Why do you have to say it like that?"

Beni rolled his eyes, wishing there was more to his drink than what he had left. "Because he is not your brother. Don't be stupid."

Her eyebrows rose. "He is, too. And what do you care if he is or isn't?"

Beni let out a loud scoff, crossing his arms over his chest. "I_ don't_ care."

"Then why make such a big deal out of it?"

He met her curious eyes with a dark glare. "Because it is stupid. And I hate stupid things. Don't you know there is enough stupid in this world?"

Siobhan sighed. "It's not so stupid..."

"It is," he cut in bitterly. "It is stupid to pretend like you have a family when you don't."

Her eyes hardened a little. "I _do_ have a family."

"You don't," he said. "You're a stupid little girl no one wanted, and you're alone."

She frowned at him as he took a drink from his glass, and he pretended not to notice her face fall in hurt desperation. She looked away from him and sniffed, blinking her eyes rapidly until she regained her composure again.

"I can't find Rick. I was looking for him."

Beni let out a grumbling sigh and wouldn't look at her. "Well I don't know where he is."

"You haven't seen him?"

"No."

"Someone said he got arrested. Did you hear that?"

Beni shrugged. "I hear a lot of things. I have heard I was killed once or twice."

She let out a long sigh, gasping back a little sob at the end. "I don't know what to do..."

"Maybe he left town."

He didn't have to look up from his drink to know she was glaring at him, her eyes narrowed and flashing. "He wouldn't do that."

Beni shrugged again, taking another sip of vodka. The way Siobhan gazed so lost and forlorn around the bar made him wish he was more buzzed. He was really too sober to have the patience for this.

"Well, I don't know where he is," Beni said again, a little gruffer this time. She glanced back at him, all big eyes and big, parted lips. She looked young and foolish, like a stray kitten on the side of the road.

Her voice shook a little as she asked, "Where have you been staying?"

Beni gave her a hard look. "You cannot stay with me."

"I don't want to stay with you," she said, her expression unchanged. "I just don't want to be alone tonight."


	2. Practicing Politics

_Disclaimer: The characters of _The Mummy_ are the property of Universal Studios__. The title of the story is taken from Billy Joel's "Piano Man." Siobhan (pronounced SHAH-von, it's Irish/Gaelic) O'Connor is my own invention._

* * *

**A Drink They Call Loneliness**

"I said you cannot stay with me."

Siobhan's bottom lip quivered briefly before she bit it, glancing between him and her drink and the crowded bar several times before meeting his eyes again. She leaned forward a little.

"Look...It's just for tonight..."

Beni scoffed. "I do not let anyone sleep in my apartment. It is _never_ just one night. What if O'Connell_ is_ in prison? Then what? Where do you think you will go? Because you cannot stay with me."

"I don't want to stay with you," she said, her voice tensing. She glanced about nervously, as if to make sure no one was listening. "I just don't want to be alone."

He rolled his eyes, downing what was left of his drink. "Yes, you said that."

"I don't think you're understanding me."

His brow furrowed. Beni didn't like being told he didn't understand something. He'd heard it enough, every time he learned a new language. People were always telling him he didn't understand something. "It's a saying, Beni, it means..." and then they'd explain it to him. Like he was an idiot. He was already annoyed with Siobhan coming and sitting with him, and now he scowled at her so that she'd know just how unwelcome her presence was.

But she wasn't looking into his eyes, not then. She reached a trembling hand across the table and rest it on his. Her fingers curled around his knuckles, and she said again:

"I don't want to be _alone_."

Beni stared at her, and she stared cautiously back, her face flush with embarrassment, but her eyes steady. Those strange, greenish-goldish-brown eyes. They should have been dark. Her hair was so very black, they should have been dark. But they were strange and light and no color at all. Just some lonely mix of nothingness, staring back at him and begging him to understand her.

"Please take me to your apartment," she whispered, and then cleared her throat. "To your...bed..."

Beni actually balked. He couldn't help it. His jaw dropped and he stared at her. "Are you serious?"

She glanced at her hand, still holding his, and nodded.

"Did you forget why your stupid brother kicked me out?"

Siobhan said nothing and shook her head.

He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, his mouth settling into a smirk as he eyed her smugly.

"I thought I 'revolted' you."

Her eyes flashed up to his. "You do."

Beni frowned. "Then what is this? Some kind of stupid trick? Because I am not a fool."

"I don't think you're a fool," Siobhan said. Something in her eyes was earnest.

"Then what?"

She took a breath, and let it out in a slow sigh. "You have something that I want. And I know you won't give it to me for nothing."

Beni's slim shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. He leaned forward. "That is true. But I would rather have money."

"I know."

They watched each other a moment in silence. Beni folded his hands on the table. "What of mine do you want?"

She eyed his chest a moment before glancing back into his eyes. "I want your Star of David."

Beni snorted. He pulled the pendant out on its chain, watching her bite her lip as she stared at it.

"You want this?" he asked, his voice incredulous.

She nodded.

"Why?"

Siobhan cleared her throat and met his gaze coolly. "What difference does it make to you?"

He started to say something, but his mind halted with a sudden thought. His eyes narrowed and he pointed an accusatory finger at her. "You said you did not want to be alone. You thought you could steal it."

She swallowed hard, her gaze dropping to her hands but just as quickly returning to his.

"There's no stealing from you," she said in an unreadable tone.

Beni's mouth twisted smugly. "That is right." His hand curled around the star, and he shoved it back under his shirt. She let out a sigh.

"Do we have a deal, then? Will you take me to your apartment?"

He smirked. "You can come to my apartment."

Siobhan let out a sigh, gazing at her hands for a long moment. She looked like she was trying to gather up all of her strength, and she probably was. Beni wanted to roll his eyes, but he turned his attention to the bar instead. He watched her finish her drink in one long, burning gulp out of the corner of his eye. He found himself wondering what she wanted the pendant for, but quickly shrugged the thought away. What difference did it make? She wanted it, and she was willing to crawl into bed with him to get it. He supposed he ought to just take his good fortunes as they came...

He glanced at her, watching her toy with the end of a curl nervously, and felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Maybe he hadn't come into any good fortune after all. Siobhan was a tease. A silly, girlish, virgin tease, who had been so very nice to him until he had snuck over to her corner of the room that night...the night that O'Connell threw him out on his ass.

What_ did_ she want the pendant for?

But she was getting up from her seat, and giving him a grim, forced smile, so he pushed his thoughts away. He would find out what all of this was. He always did find out.


	3. Light Up Your Smoke

_Disclaimer: The characters of _The Mummy_ are the property of Universal Studios__. The title of the story is taken from Billy Joel's "Piano Man." Siobhan (pronounced SHAH-von, it's Irish/Gaelic) O'Connor is my own invention._

* * *

**A Drink They Call Loneliness**

Beni's apartment was in a stuffy little corner of Cairo that kept much too many people who'd rather not be there. Everyone was always irritable and sweating, and there was never enough money, and that was all anyone ever talked about. Living there made him wish he didn't understand Arabic, because he was sick of hearing their constant, complaining drone. They all thought they had problems? They ought to try being a pale Hungarian in Egypt. Everyone despised Beni. The men would spit on the floor as he crept to his apartment, and the women made their children come inside when he stood on the stoop to have a smoke. It was just as well to Beni. He didn't want to hear their noisy brats, anyway.

But nearly all of his neighbors were asleep at this hour, all huddled together on the floor, probably - trying to get a little rest before they worked themselves weary the next day again. He stole up the stairs, annoyed at Siobhan's breath on his neck. As if staying close to him offered any protection at all. If she thought for a moment that he wouldn't toss her to the first threatening figure with a knife, she was sorely mistaken.

They made it to his apartment door without any such encounter, though, and Beni let out a long sigh as he unlocked the door and let them inside. Siobhan paused for a minute at the threshold, her lip quivering a little as she peered into the dark room thoughtfully.

"Are you coming or what?"

"I'm coming."

She sucked in a little breath and stepped inside. He saw her flinch as he slammed the door behind her and locked it again. It was a full minute or more before she would meet his eyes.

"Well?"

Siobhan swallowed hard. "Do you...still have it?"

Beni frowned in confusion. "Have what?"

"The Star."

"Of course I do," he scoffed. "Where would it have gone?"

She cleared her throat, shifting her weight nervously. "Can I see it first?"

Beni let out a groan and pulled the little pendant out on its chain. "Are you happy?"

Siobhan forced a little nod and glanced at the floor. Her eyes wandered slowly to the bed in the corner, and she stared at it a moment before letting out a ruthless sigh and straightening her shoulders.

"I don't suppose you'd give me the Star first."

Beni let out a short, wheezing laugh.

She sighed again. "I didn't think so."

He gave her an eerie little grin. "You do not seem very excited."

Siobhan scoffed. "I think we both know I'm not doing this out of...excitement."

Beni crossed his arms over his chest. "Then why do it? Why is the Star so important?"

She met his gaze coolly. "It's none of your business. You wouldn't understand, anyway."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Are we going to do this or not?"

Siobhan nodded stiffly. "Okay...okay."

Beni eyed her as she fiddled with the collar of her blouse, not quite pushing the buttons through. He let out an impatient sigh that drew her strange, hazel-ish gaze up to his.

"How did you come by that Star, anyway?"

He snorted. "Is this your first time, or what?"

Her jaw clenched a little, and he sneered at her.

"My father gave it to me."

Siobhan's eyes widened in surprise. "I had no idea it was so sentimental."

"It's not."

"But your father gave it to you..."

"Oh, yes," Beni said, his voice getting a little terse. "After learning that I was his and making me get circumcised, he gave me this stupid Star."

Her jaw dropped a little. "How old were you?"

"Twelve, eleven. I don't know."

She just continued to stare at him. "You were circumcised at eleven years old?"

He met her eyes with icy irritability. "Yes. And the memory is_ so_ arousing. So take your stupid clothes off and get on the bed."

Siobhan's fingers drifted from her blouse up to her hair, twisting a curling lock thoughtfully. "It _is_ my first time..."

"So what?"

Her eyes flashed up to his. "So give me a minute."

"A minute for what?" he asked.

She sighed, twisting the hair in her hand anxiously. "I don't know...just...a minute."

Beni let out a groan and dropped onto the bed. "You are making too much out of it."

Siobhan met his eyes. "You could try being just a little sensitive. It wouldn't kill you, you know."

He scoffed, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette. He held it up towards her with an irritated sneer. "You are supposed to smoke this_ after_," he said, pushing it between his teeth and fishing for a match. "Look what you are making me do."

"Stop whining," she said, her voice tightening with annoyance...or nerves.

He frowned back at her. "If you are not going to do this, you can leave."

She started to say something, and quickly gulped back the words. Sucking in a little breath, she said. "Please, just...a minute."

Beni sighed loudly and reached into his pocket for a watch he'd stolen that morning. He just barely made out the face and ticking hands in the dim light.

"A minute, then."


	4. It Sounds Like a Carnival

_Disclaimer: The characters of _The Mummy_ are the property of Universal Studios__. The title of the story is taken from Billy Joel's "Piano Man." Siobhan (pronounced SHAH-von, it's Irish/Gaelic) O'Connor is my own invention._

* * *

**A Drink They Call Loneliness**

"So that's it, then."

Beni let out a groan and reached over the side of the bed for the cigarettes he had stuffed in the pocket of his disgarded pants. "You sure know how to pay a compliment."

"I didn't mean..." Her voice was thoughtful and quiet. "I just meant...it's not what I thought it would be."

Beni snorted. "What did you think it would be?"

"I don't know. Different." Siobhan let out a little chuckle. "Life-changing, I suppose."

"Life-changing?"

She turned and met his incredulous eyes with her wide, steady gaze. "Well, my whole life, it's been made out to be the biggest deal. I thought I would feel different after. Changed somehow. But I don't feel anything."

Beni let out a scoff and lit his cigarette. "Nothing will ever make you feel like that."

Siobhan sighed. "Maybe...but maybe not."

She propped herself up on her elbow and turned on her side to face him. He could feel her staring at him, but he gazed stubbornly up at the ceiling. His body felt groggy and heavy, and he wanted her to leave so he could go to sleep.

"Can I have it now?"

Beni frowned and turned to look at her. "Have what?"

Her eyes widened a little, but her voice stayed calm. "The Star."

Instinctively, his hand grappled for the little pendant on his chest, and he held it against him in a tight fist. "You're not getting it."

Siobhan frowned, pulling herself up to a sitting position and dragging his threadbare sheet with her, covering her body. "But we made a deal."

"No, we did not," Beni retorted in a whiny sing-song. "I said you could come to my apartment. I did not say I would give you the Star."

She just stared at him for a long time, and he pretended to ignore the angry and awestruck look on her face as he puffed at his cigarette. She swept a disheveled tendril out of her eyes and leaned toward him a little.

"I should have known. I suppose you think you're awfully clever."

Beni couldn't help the little smirk that crawled into the corner of his mouth. "I think_ you_ are awfully stupid."

She opened her mouth to say something, but he interrupted her:

"And I think I am clever, yes."

Siobhan rolled her eyes, casting a glance up at the ceiling as she sucked in a breath. "There's not a gracious bone in your body, is there?" she muttered, turning her gaze to him again.

"What do you want it for, anyway?"

She let out a heavy sigh and shrugged her shoulders. "Give me a cigarette."

His eyes narrowed a little. "No."

Something about her looked defeated and determined at the same time, like a sad-eyed puppy that had just been kicked. "Please?"

Beni crossed his arms over his chest, and then it occurred to him. "You do not even smoke!"

"So what?" Soibhan said. "I want to smoke right now."

He snorted and took a long drag of his cigarette. "You are changing the subject just to be a pain in my ass."

She sighed again. "You know, I just slept with you. The least you could do is give me a cigarette, if you won't give me the star."

Beni scowled at her. "Do you think you have done me a favor? I could have had any other woman tonight besides you. And they wouldn't be asking for cigarettes. They would know when to get the hell out."

Siobhan met his glare evenly. "You said I could stay at your apartment tonight."

He opened his mouth to thow something back at her, but stopped short. She almost smiled.

"You did say that."

Beni let out a whiny groan. How was he supposed to sleep now? She would certainly try and take the necklace the minute he closed his eyes. He watched her suspiciously.

"Well, I changed my mind."

She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned against them. She stared at the wall across the room and ran a hand through her hair.

"I found my family," she said quietly. "They're Jewish. I want to wear a Star when I go to meet them."

Beni couldn't hold back the guffah that sputtered from between his lips. "Jewish? Is that a joke?"

She stared at him with her wide, honest eyes. "Why would I joke about that?"

"Your name is Siobhan O'Connor. If you are a Jew, I am a Negro."

Siobhan shook her head. "But that's not my name. Not really. One of the sisters from the orphanage told me about it recently. My mother was a Jewish girl and Sister Anne was so upset she had me baptized and changed my name. But Sister Margaret - she was always very fond of me - she wrote down my real name in her journal, and she told me about all of this just last week, when I went to visit her."

Beni was already bored of her story, and his cigarette was nearly finished. He reached over the side of the bed for another.

"My name is Hava Azoulay. And my mother still lives here. She's married now; she has another name. She probably has other children, too. But she's here and I'm desperate to meet her."

Beni shifted his weight stiffly and lit another cigarette. "Why do you want to meet her? She dumped you off at an orphanage."

Siobhan stared at him in shock. "She's my mother..."

"And she left you. She did not want you. She probably does not want to see you."

She sucked in a little breath and bit down on her lip. Beni was vaguely aware that she was trying to keep herself from allowing a few tears from slipping past her lashes.

"Stop it," she whispered. "You're horrible."

Beni snorted and took a drag from his cigarette. "You know her husband might not even know about you. You could ruin their whole family, showing up."

"I said stop it," she said, louder this time. She looked at him with those eyes that were no color at all, and they were glazed with tears.

He gave her a cruel smile and calmly puffed out a trail of smoke. It slipped between them and hung in the silence for a while before disappearing.

"I thought O'Connell was your 'family.'"

"He is," she snapped back at him. Her hands curled into fists. "You don't understand. You don't understand anything. You're just an awful little weasel, and you're bitter because everyone knows so and nobody cares for you."

Beni reached over and gave her a hard shove. She nearly fell off the bed, but caught herself just before tumbling to the floor.

"Shut up," he said. "Nobody cares about you, either. Nobody cares about anybody."

Siobhan sniffed stubbornly. "Rick cares."

Beni wheezed a mocking little laugh. "Then where is he? Where is your dear 'brother' tonight when you are so lonely you would come to me?"


	5. The Regular Crowd

_Disclaimer: The characters of _The Mummy_ are the property of Universal Studios__. The title of the story is taken from Billy Joel's "Piano Man." Siobhan (pronounced SHAH-von, it's Irish/Gaelic) O'Connor is my own invention._

* * *

**A Drink They Call Loneliness**

"I don't know," she murmured after a few minutes of silence. She glanced at her hands. "But this doesn't have anything to do with Rick."

Beni sighed. He was bored of her and this argument, but he figured if he upset her enough, she might storm out on her own. He usually had no trouble upsetting women to that point. Though she'd probably slap him hard across the face first...Beni winced prematurely at the thought before resolving his previous scowl.

"Then what is it about?"

Siobhan bit her lip, and she seemed surprised at the question. She looked at him a moment, as if she was trying to decide if he was genuinely interested or not. Beni hoped she could see that he wasn't. Not genuinely.

"This is...my family," she said quietly. "These are the people I belong to. Does that make sense? Surely you know...when you met your father, you knew... You have to belong to somebody. We all have to belong to somebody."

Beni snorted and lit another cigarette. "That man was not my father."

Siobhan blinked in confusion before her expression melted to something like rage. "You lied to me? About the circumcision? Beni!"

He stared back at her steadily. "I did not lie. He found out I was not his son. He threw me in the streets."

The anger left her face, and her body relaxed a little. He could feel the sympathy in her gaze, but he didn't know what to do with it. He had nothing to do with it, for one thing. There was nothing more he wanted from her, except to send her out of the room and his life.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "That's terrible."

Beni shrugged. "He was a bastard for doing it anyway. You are only Jewish if your mother is."

Siobhan nodded her head thoughtfully. "I didn't know that."

He looked at her smugly and scoffed. "You have a lot to learn before you go to the Jewish neighborhood."

She swallowed hard and glanced at her hands.

"I'm so scared," she whispered. "I wish..."

She met Beni's eyes apologetically, and he glared back.

"What?"

Siobhan glanced away. "Nothing. I just wish...I miss Rick, is all."

Beni started to mutter something about how useless O'Connell was, but she interrupted him. She didn't even seem to notice he'd started talking:

"He would help me...He'd say the kind of things that help."

His eyebrows raised incredulously. "O'Connell? That idiot?"

Siobhan glared and told him pointedly. "Yes."

A mean little sneer spread itself across Beni's face, and he couldn't help himself. "Like what?"

The idea that O'Connell could say anything that wasn't remarkably stupid or remarkably short amused Beni to no end. Rick O'Connell didn't _say_ things to try and make them better.

Siobhan shrugged stiffly, and she looked a little embarrassed. "Oh, I don't know... He'd tell me that my mother _does_ want to see me. That she's probably wondered about me my whole life, the way I've wondered about her..." She chuckled quietly to herself. "And then he'd probably say that if she doesn't, it's her own damn loss and she doesn't deserve to be my mother anyway."

She glanced up at Beni sheepishly, and didn't seem surprised by his cruel and critical eyes, though she winced a little at their sharpness.

"O'Connell would say that?" Beni scoffed.

Siobhan swallowed and nodded.

"And that would help?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and stared away from him, her cheeks bright with color. "Oh, shut up."

Beni rolled his eyes. "I should have known O'Connell would only say something stupid."

"It's not...stupid..."

She wouldn't look at him.

"It is stupid, Siobhan. It is stupid and you know it is. You are too old to need someone to lie to you to make you feel important." He snuffed out his cigarette with an irritable grunt. "Your mother knows where she left you. She knows. She would have found you if she wanted you. But she did not."

She sat there, in the moonlight drifting in from his only window. She sat there on the mess of stained, threadbare sheets, with one pulled up to cover her breasts as she held her knees against them and stared at the wall. Her hair was a mess across her shoulders and he could see the muscles in her back tighten all along her spine. She sat there and he expected to hear her crying quietly, a pathetic sniffle here and there as tears slid down her cheeks. But she didn't make any noise at all. After a few moments she sat up a little and looked him squarely in the eye.

"Why don't you have me again," she said softly, her voice trembling too much to raise to a question.

Beni blinked in confusion. "What?"

She leaned over and kissed him awkwardly, with lips that quivered a little before pressing against his own. She looked strange in a way he couldn't quite understand when she met his eyes after.

"I will not give you the necklace," he said with a suspicious glint in his eye.

She nodded, wrapping her arms stiffly around his neck.

"I know. I don't care. I want you."

Beni quirked an incredulous eyebrow. "Why?"

Siobhan let out a ruthless sigh. "Isn't this the way 'grown-ups' lie to make themselves feel important?"


	6. Better than Drinking Alone

_Author's Note. I wasn't expecting to end this story tonight, but as I started writing, it just kind of went that way. Thanks, everyone, for following and enjoying! It's been an interesting (if occasionally challenging) piece, and I'm happy to have it finished._

_Disclaimer: The characters of _The Mummy_ are the property of Universal Studios__. The title of the story is taken from Billy Joel's "Piano Man." Siobhan (pronounced SHAH-von, it's Irish/Gaelic) O'Connor is my own invention._

* * *

**A Drink They Call Loneliness**

Beni wasn't quite sure what caused him to jerk awake in the middle of the night; it was probably a dream, and one he'd just assume let slip between the crevices of his mind than try to dig back up again. Most of his dreams were odd or frightening, if he had them at all. And even the good ones always had a certain eerie sense about them that made him squeamish when he tried to recall them. The most perfect or ordinary thing could be downright creepy when said aloud or remembered by a lucid mind.

He heard soft, relaxed breathing and imagined for a second that he _was_ still asleep, but the events of the night quickly flooded over him again. He tried to lean over the side of the bed and dig a cigarette out from the pocket of his pants, but he was prevented by the weight of Siobhan's head on his chest. He frowned curiously, wondering how on earth he'd wound up in this position, since he was fairly certain he hadn't fallen asleep this way. Siobhan was curled up close to him, and for a moment, he just laid there. He listened to her quiet breathing and reached a hand up to feel the surprising softness of her black curls. He let his arm fall over her shoulders and stared up at the ceiling, his lips still itching for that cigarette, but not badly enough yet.

He wasn't sure how long he laid there. He felt something strangely calming about the sound of her breathing, even though her body heat made him too warm, and her skin was sticky against his. He may have drifted back into sleep once or twice, but the uncomfortable reality of her thin body against his always inevitably brought him back to consciousness again.

"Hey, I can't move," he whispered a little gruffer than he meant to. But he wasn't about to apologize for sounding gruff in the middle of the night.

Siobhan blinked awake, her face a mess of groggy confusion.

"Oh," she mumbled. "Sorry."

She rolled away from him and settled herself back on the other side of the bed. In almost no time, she was asleep again. Beni sighed and pulled the sheets up over him, suddenly cold from her absence. He glanced down at the floor and considered his cigarettes again.

"Why were you sleeping on me like that?" he asked suddenly.

She didn't move, so he turned and gave her a little shove. She startled, looking up at him with foggy eyes.

"What?"

"Why were you sleeping on me like that?"

Siobhan's brow furrowed. "What? I'm not sleeping on you..."

Beni rolled his eyes. "You were. Just a second ago."

She blinked hard.

"I just made you move," he said.

She let out a yawn. "Oh. I don't even remember that."

Siobhan drifted to sleep again, and Beni let out a heavy sigh. He reached over the side of the bed and retrieved his cigarettes. He propped up his pillow and leaned against it, and then he lit up his cigarette and breathed in the first drag, watching smoke billow like a ghost in the darkness of his room.

When he'd moved into O'Connell's apartment a few months ago, Rick had introduced him to Siobhan and told him to leave her alone. Beni preferred to keep to himself, anyway, but he discovered rather quickly that Siobhan didn't want him to leave her alone. She didn't want anyone to. She sought out conversations with him with a kind of desperate politeness, and most of the time he obliged her because she was pretty, and pretty women didn't usually talk to him.

Why shouldn't he have tried to sleep with her that night in O'Connell's apartment? Didn't she know she could have ignored him if she thought he was so "revolting"? O'Connell would have preferred that, and God knew she worshipped her imaginary brother. So why had she been so nice? Why had she gone out of her way to talk to him? Why had she slept with him tonight, and then slept with him again? And_ for the love of God,_ why had she been sleeping like that, curled up next to him? Why was she so terribly, so disgustingly pathetic? How could any person be so desperate and lonely?

He glanced at her, naked and sleeping in his bed, and his eyes hardened with a glare. What was wrong with her? Did she think sleeping with him and next to him would help her trick herself into thinking someone cared about her? Did she think that having a man put his hands on her meant that she was desirable? Because she_ wasn't_. Not to him and not to anybody. It didn't matter how pretty she was. She was too pathetic to care about.

He had lied to her about his father and the circumcision. The man hadn't made Beni get circumcised; Beni had begged for it. _Please, Papa, I want to be like you, Papa, I want to be Jewish and read the Torah and...and...and..._

Too pathetic to care about.

He sucked in the last drag of his cigarette and blew it out in a sigh, looking down at Siobhan again. What a foolish, useless girl. When would she see that _nobody_ -

A heavy, commanding knock on the door interrupted Beni's thoughts, and he froze for a moment in fear and surprise. He wasn't sure what time it was, but he did know that middle-of-the-night visitors were never there for his benefit. He gulped and sat there as still as he could, hoping the visitor would leave. But the knocks came again, fiercer this time.

"Beni, you home?"

Beni's heart sank into his stomach at the sound of that familiar voice, and he spat a train of curses that were apparently louder than he thought.

"C'mon, I can hear you in there!"

"Just a minute!" he managed to call in a sleep-worn voice. Quickly he turned his attention to Siobhan and shook her. "Hey, wake up!"

She blinked her heavy eyes in confusion. "What do you keep waking me up for...?"

But Beni was already out of the bed, pulling his pants on and tossing her clothes up on the bed. "Get dressed!" he whispered.

"Why...?"

"Just get your goddamn clothes on!" he hissed, glancing between her and the door fretfully. He tossed his pillow and one of his ratty blankets on the floor before crossing the room, flipping on the light, and opening the door. He forced his most innocent grin and said, "O'Connell! What a pleasant surprise - "

"Yeah, is she here?" he demanded, shoving past Beni and letting himself into the apartment. "Somebody at the bar said they saw you leave together - "

"Rick!" Siobhan exclaimed happily from the bed, suddenly alert. She'd managed to pull on her shirt and skirt, and Beni panicked when he noticed her brazierre still on the floor. He glanced at O'Connell, and was relieved to see that he was too busy staring at his sister to notice. Beni nonchalantly kicked the incriminating evidence under the bed and turned his attention to the two people hugging in his apartment.

A strange feeling crept into Beni's gut, and he glanced away from them to stare at his bare feet on the floor.

"Where were you? They told me you were in prison!"

"I was. But I'm out now. God, I'm_ so_ sorry I wasn't able to tell you...and the landlord locking you out. I'm just so sorry."

"It's okay...It's okay..."

Beni snorted, wandering over to the place where he'd just tossed his pillow and blanket and picked them, throwing them emphatically on the bed.

"I assume you are leaving," he said to Siobhan, "so I can go back to sleeping on my bed?"

O'Connell raised his eyebrows. "You, sleeping on the floor? Have you turned over a new leaf or something?"

Beni scoffed. "I was just covering my ass."

Rick's face became very serious, and he held out his hand to Beni. "Look, thanks a lot for takin' her in, buddy. I appreciate it."

Beni glanced at Siobhan, and then glanced at his hand a moment before reluctantly shaking it. "Sure."

Rick turned his attention back to his sister. "Well, you ready?"

She nodded, her eyes drifting over to Beni thoughtfully. "Yeah...could you wait in the hallway for a minute?"

O'Connell frowned curiously but didn't protest, and mumbled something about just being outside before letting himself out the door and closing it behind him.

Siobhan stared at Beni with her strange eyes and gave him a little smile. "Thanks."

He let out a little scoff and told her sarcastically, "Yeah, any time."

They stood there, looking at each other in awkward silence for a moment. And then, somewhat randomly, Siobhan said, "I've decided I'm not going to find my mother after all. Rick _is_ all the family I need."

Beni sighed, his eyes flitting around the room to avoid her stupid, grateful gaze. "Your bra's under the bed."

She glanced at the bed and then at the door, and back to Beni. She bit her lip nervously. "Maybe I'll get it some other time."

Beni raised his eyebrows. "What, you think we are fucking now? We're not fucking. Get your bra and leave."

Siobhan shifted her weight, staring desperately under the bed with a sad look creeping into her features. She clenched her teeth and swallowed hard, glancing back up at him with determination.

"You know, being this way - it's gonna kill you."

Beni gave her an incredulous smirk and retorted, "Maybe it already has."

"You shouldn't talk like that," she said quietly. She stared at him, searching his face for something he was pretty sure she couldn't find. "My God," she said at last, "how can you bear it?"

"Bear what?"

"Being so alone?"

Beni rolled his eyes flatly and said, "I drink. You should pick it up. You would be a lot less pathetic."

She didn't say anything. She just stared back at him steadily, her eyes burning with an unreadable emotion.

"So that's how you do it," she said under her breath bitterly. "Don't you ever get sick of being so horrible to everyone?"

Beni crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her pointedly. "Sometimes. In the middle of the goddamn night."

Siobhan shook her head at him in disbelief.

"Good night," she said darkly. "I'll let myself out."

She turned on her heel and crossed the room.

"You thought I was going to walk you out?" he called.

But her only response was flinging open the door and letting it slam closed behind her. Beni let out an annoyed sigh, crossing the room to the broken cabinet he'd dragged into his room one day from the side of the road. He opened it and found a mostly-empty bottle of vodka. He took a swig and turned around, catching a glimpse of Siobhan's bra just under the bed. His expression soured, and he let out a groan.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with that?" he said to no one in particular. He took another swig of vodka and placed the bottle back in the cabinet. Then he got into bed. In the moments before he drifted back to sleep, he imagined the sound of her breathing, and felt calm.

**End**


End file.
